Love in the Golden Years

By Jenny Pope
Buckner News Service

(BEAUMONT, Texas) — Jim Finney and his new bride Ruby are like any other newlywed couple: they take long walks holding hands, watch sunsets from their favorite park bench and go on frequent dates to the theater and local restaurants.

“We’ve been married almost seven months, and we’ve never had a fight. Not even once,” Ruby said.

“Are you supposed to?” Jim questioned with a laugh and smiling eyes.

Their love is unique, not only because it’s young and sincere, but because of something much more special. As residents of Calder Woods, a Buckner retirement community in Beaumont, the Finney’s found love in a time when many people have lost their loved ones and struggle with severe loneliness and depression.

“Relationships like the Finney’s is generally a very positive thing,” said Craig Garrett, chaplain of Calder Woods. “I think that when someone has such a major loss in their life, they have to find some way to reinvest that energy in one way or another. A relationship like this can be a really positive way to do that.”

As a recent widower, Jim threw himself into the many trips and activities Calder Woods offers to help fight the pain of losing his wife and mother of his seven children.

“I was very depressed,” he said. “So I made up my mind that I was going to start going to everything available, on every trip Calder Woods had to offer. And that’s when our relationship began.”

“He started sitting with me on the bus, and we just became good friends,” Ruby added. “We usually like to do the same things—go on trips and take walks when the weather is nice. We started walking together around the complex…it was a nice relationship.”

Things took a turn toward a more serious commitment one night at the local community theater. Jim and Ruby were sitting together on the front row when some interactive dialogue led the actor to mention ‘that nice man and his wife’ on the front row.

“I remember thinking, ‘that sounds pretty good. I think I should proceed further.’ So I proposed and she accepted and it’s been lovely ever since.”

Ruby never expected the proposal, she said, and told Jim that after being widowed three times she was “bad luck.” But he wouldn’t listen. The couple celebrated their marriage July 9, 2005 at St. Anne’s Catholic Church in Beaumont along with more than 40 family members—including Jim’s seven and Ruby’s five children.

“Jim has a really nice family; I think they all approved of me. I was really dreading meeting them because I wasn’t sure what they’d think,” she laughed.

“That’s been another nice thing about our marriage,” Jim said. “Ruby’s family has accepted me and my family has done the same thing. It makes all the difference in the world.”

Their family’s support is important, but ultimately the Finney’s friendship and comfort matters the most. The two newlyweds found love where they never expected it.

“Never, never in my wildest dreams did it cross my mind that I’d ever be married again,” Jim said. “I feel so indebted to Ruby because I was so depressed, and she’s helped me so much. She’s just made life worth living.”

For more information about Calder Woods retirement community, please call (409) 861-1123.